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One thing I really like about walking around ‘aimlessly’ is the opportunity to be fully present in the moment. Too often, we walk around aimfully and end up not ‘being there’, wherever it is that we are. We work aimfully (and too hard), we play aimfully (and too hard), we even holiday aimfully (and too hard and planned). So I like wandering ‘aimlessly’, because everything that is has so much to teach us in its ordinaryness. Everything that is beckons us to discover it with the curiosity of a child.

After reminiscing at the old Treasury, I wandered down Amoy. Admired the architecture of Thian Hock Keng Temple, and how it outshines bigger, taller, glossier buildings around it. Further down, I had to turn sideways and step effortfully over a high threshold to get into the Fuk Tak Chi Museum, and fingered the stone plaques there for a while. The shade and coolness of that empty, quiet space – in the midst of CBD bustle – was very inviting, and I almost didn’t want to leave.

Ah yes, the high threshold.

I haven’t stepped over that many thresholds, so I don’t know if this one was particularly high. But it took some effort, and stuck in my mind long after I’d left the museum.

Met JT for dinner, and we had a wonderful evening catching up. A lot has happened for him, and I think he’s been very brave about it and as diligent as anyone could be. I was blessed by the reminders and insights that came from our thinking aloud.

At one point, we talked about what it is like to begin to really desire and know closeness with God. The only word that seemed to fit was ‘intimacy’. How intimate? So intimate that even death cannot separate. So intimate that I can say, “Come what may, I will trust in the Lord”. So intimate that I have no qualms about sweeping up the shattered, broken pieces of me before God, and be assured of full acceptance. No pretenses, no insecurities, no hiding, no polishes or veneers. Just honesty, safety, rawness, worship and inside-out restoration. My Bestest Friend.

Once we cease knowing intimacy with God only with our heads, and begin to know and live it with our hearts and actions, we are forever changed. Like stepping over a high threshold – it is effortful, requires some re-orientation; and sometimes you wonder in all vulnerability if you will trip and fall flat on your face. But once you’ve stepped over, you will recognise the intimate space you enter as a place you don’t want ever to leave.

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About lilac butterfly

Live. Love. Learn. Laugh. Write. Draw. Colour. Blend. Play. Dream. Cry. Reflect. Pray. Sing. Worship. Bake. Cook. Rest. Give thanks.

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