Thanks! (with a dose of honesty)

Earlier this month, a blogger friend – Lori (http://lorischulz.wordpress.com/) – nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award.

It was really sweet of her to do that, and brought a timely spot of cheer to a pretty bad day. But I didn’t have time then to follow the instructions that came with the award, so I shelved the email notification virtually, adding a little red flag to it in my Inbox, making the total no. of red flags inch towards something closer to 100 than 10.

Today, after looking at the 20 blue-dotted “unread” emails (a coding I sometimes use to mark emails that I browsed in a hurry but didn’t have time to read/respond to) from the last 2 days on my Inbox screen, I decided I would finally try to do something about my part of the Award.

One Lovely Blog Award

As I looked again at the instructions for my part of the Award, I realised that the only thing I could truthfully do without going against my conscience, was to say thanks to Lori for being an unsuspecting angel.

Thank you Lori 🙂

I’m supposed to present the award to 15 deserving bloggers.

And I’m supposed to post 7 interesting things.

It shouldn’t be difficult at all to identify 15 – I have wonderfully talented friends who write beautifully about life, love and insight. And 7 interesting things shouldn’t take more than an hour, at most.

But I just can’t.

I think it’s part of the slump that started in December. Yes, unfortunately, I’m still in it. And it doesn’t look like I’m coming out of it anytime soon. If today’s personal journal entry is anything to go by, I just sank by a few more inches. Battles without, outclassed by battles within. Strongholds make incredibly fearsome dragons.

Keeping 2, 3am nights the past month or so probably doesn’t help. (Please hold the ‘friendly fire’ on getting more rest, being sensible, letting go and relaxing about things, having more faith and trusting God more etc. Believe you me, I’m fully aware of the insanity of the situation and my chillingly real limitations, but I’m at the mercy of some things & people. I’ve done my planning, I’ve scheduled my rest. I put in sensible buffer, empty pockets. I fight for safe spaces. … I just wish some others could respect that too, by pulling their weight and exercising some common sense, and correcting their own mistakes. And stop bullying me!)

So I’m not going to wear myself out further by writing an artificially cheerful & upbeat post with the lists of 15 and 7. I only have energy and heartstrength to think about the 15 beautiful people I’d have presented the award to. And ask for God’s grace to remember just 7 things that I have been able to be thankful for since this very-scary-and-discouraging-so-far calendar year started.

For sure, one thing I’m thankful for today is: one more day of this year is over.

 

Advertisements

About lilac butterfly

Live. Love. Learn. Laugh. Write. Draw. Colour. Blend. Play. Dream. Cry. Reflect. Pray. Sing. Worship. Bake. Cook. Rest. Give thanks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: